On Life with One Hand by Keiron McCammon
Earlier this month I did a live radio interview on The Jay Thomas Show on Sirius 108, they had contacted me over the Christmas period and wanted me on the show to talk to Jay about my iLimb hand.
As you can hear from the recording it was light-hearted and fun (just listen to the music choices on the intros)…kind of what you’d expect for a mens show.
Despite my accident cutting my training short with two weeks to go before my first Half Ironman in October I’m determined to stick to my original plan, and with bones healed, start my bid to compete at the Ironman World Championship in Kona this October. That’s 140.6 miles and likely 16 hours of hard slog.
An Ironman triathlon consists of a 2.4 mile swim followed by a 112 mile bike and finally a full marathon, 26.2 miles…all in one day. And the mecca for Ironman events is the World Championship in Kona, Hawaii…birth place of Ironman. Since I’m unlikely to qualify for Kona as a world class athlete, I’ve instead submitted an entry into the Ironman lottery as a challenged athlete. They pick 5 athletes from those that apply, so keep your fingers crossed for me.
This will be the biggest physical/mental challenge I have faced to date, without a doubt. I have 10 months of training ahead, 6 days a week for the next 42 weeks. In between I’ll be throwing in an Olympic triathlon or two, a Half Ironman event, a triathlon including a swim from Alcatraz and maybe a half marathon for good measure.
As part of my bid I plan to fundraise for the Challenged Athletes Foundation (CAF), these guys have a mission to provide opportunities and support to people with physical disabilities so they can pursue active lifestyles through physical fitness and competitive athletics, they provide support for athletic endeavors by providing grants for training, competition and equipment needs. As you can imagine, a cause near and dear to my heart.
So here goes, day one of training done, my first swim since my accident, nice to know it hasn’t affected my swimming ability, next will be to see how I fair on the bike…wish me luck.
I got a message recently from a high school senior who’d visited my blog, he had a birth defect that affected one of his hands and had recently become more conscious about it in social settings. He asked if I had anything to share.
Well this got me thinking, really thinking, what was it I had learnt since losing my hand 3 or so years back that I might be able to share? For what it’s worth, here’s what I came up with.
First, right at the beginning my mindset was that whilst I might have a disability, I didn’t consider myself disabled. My disability wasn’t who I was, it wasn’t my ‘identity’ or how I saw myself. I decided to have fun with my disability, to challenge my disability and be playful about it with others.
Secondly, I refused to see myself as being any different. I knew that if I started to see myself differently then other’s would pick up on it and feel differently, even awkward, around me, which I would then pick up on, which would then re-inforce my own negative feelings and start a vicious cycle. If you see yourself differently from how you wish others to see you, don’t be surprised when you perceive that others see you thus. If you feel incomplete, or disabled, or disfigured or whichever way it is for you, then with that in your mind you’ll start to perceive that that’s how others are thinking of you, it’s all bullshit, but, that’s just the way the mind works.
Thirdly, I look odd, people will stare, it means nothing, it’s just a natural reaction. Hell, when I catch myself in the mirror I stare, my body lacks symmetry, the human mind is used to symmetrical bodies. The question is, what does it mean to you when you catch someone glancing your way? Whatever you think they are thinking, I can guarantee you are wrong, you have no way of knowing what the other person thinks, so I prefer to believe they find me so incredibly attractive that they can’ help but look my way. I just smile, be open to questions or just continue on my way. Forget the stories you tell yourself about what you think they are thinking, again it’s bullshit. Generally I’m oblivious to it, but occasionally I’ll catch someone and it makes me smile.
Here’s a great video on this very topic:
I hope that this might help someone in some small way, remember you get to decide the meaning you attach to an event in your life…why not make that meaning serve you rather than hinder you.
I’ve been recovering fast after my surgery a few weeks back. It’s been a real case of deja-vu, it was like losing my hand all over again. Since my arm had swollen too nearly twice it’s size after the surgery (much better now) I couldn’t wear my prosthetic, so it was back to making do with one hand again. It was surprising how used to my i-Limb hand I was…I really miss it!
The surgery was successful, if a little long (over 5 hrs). My collar-bone now has a plate holding it together, which is great since it stabilizes the shoulder nicely. My elbow was a bit of a surprise, however. I didn’t expect to end up with so much metal work: a plate, screws, pins and even some wire, as you can see from the fluoroscope images. It’s amazing the amount of damage I did.
Now that my arm is back to normal size my one challenge is that, with all the metal work in my elbow its circumference has increased and my prosthetic sockets still don’t fit. Fortunately I still have my original socket from a couple of years back, and whilst it’s not ideal, at least it fits…which means I can drive again.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t have to get new prosthetic sockets made, only time will tell.