Phantom pain seems to be my daily companion, although, I feel fortunate that it is in no way debilitating for me and that I have no need for pain medication.

As with most amputees who suffer from phantom pain I feel it most at night in bed (not that it keeps me awake), but, bizarrely the sensations intensify for me whilst driving. Which, wouldn’t normally be such a challenge if I didn’t have to commute 80 miles a day!

Only occasionally do I feel what I would call “painful” sensations (stabbing/sharp pain), mostly it’s more a constant sense of constriction, for want of a better word. Imagine putting your hand into wet cement (or perhaps burying it deep in sand), imagine the pressure exerted on your hand as the cement dries, imagine trying to move your hand to break out of the confines, but, not being able to. That’s the best way I can describe it, an ever-present feeling of pressure, an aching.

Interestingly, if I’m wearing my prosthetic then my sensations kind of match reality with my stump being in the socket and this seems to resolve the cognitive dissonance somewhat (between what I feel and the  real world) and alleviates the sensations, at least until I start driving.

I’ve got quite use to the sensations and they certainly don’t stop me in my daily life, however, I’m open to experimentation to see if I can improve things. And so, I’ve been trying out Farabloc, a nylon fabric with lots of ultra thin steel fibers woven into it that supposedly blocks high frequency electrical waves (like a faraday cage) and thus alleviates phantom pain (amongst other things).

I’ve been wrapping it around my stump at night and sleeping with it, it’s hard to determine if it’s helped just yet. I feel some improvement whilst driving to work but not enough relief that I could conclusively say it’s helped. I’ll keep wearing it for a few weeks and see what happens.

UPDATE: Well I tried it for over a week now, can’t say I’ve really noticed any improvement.

It’s been about 10 months since I was fitted for my prosthetic and my stump has shrunk about an inch in diameter, as you can see from the photos (I took the first back in August last year). This means my prosthetic is now a little lose, to say the least…it’s a bit embarrassing having your arm keep dropping off as you walk along…I have to keep pushing it back on since otherwise the suction slowly gives way and off it pops!

So it’s back to the shop for a new arm. I used to be with Hanger, but, Rich Sire, who I worked with has since left and started his own company, Diablo Prosthetics and Orthotics. I really liked the way Rich worked with me and was willing to try things to meet my needs so I stayed with him and of course wanted to help support a new business. So now it’s take two as I get fitted for a new socket.

Based on my experiences with the suction based suspension system with my current socket and liner Rich has been looking for a different solution that might work better for me. The the suction system makes it easy to take my socket on or off, but, it doesn’t hold when I’m in the gym and slowly releases over time. This type of solution probably works better for lower limb prosthetics where there is constant body weight pushing into the socket, the problem with upper limbs is the socket is always weighing down and over time the suction just seems to give way…so I can’t say I’d recommend this for anyone.

This time we’re going to try an Otto Bock Silicon Arm Liner, this uses a lock pin in the end of the liner to lock into the socket…so no problems with it dropping off. It also has the added benefit that it’s much thinner than my current liner, so shouldn’t restrict my elbow movement as much and hopefully will result in a more streamlined socket.

Also this time around I’m going for a carbon fiber, high-tech look. I didn’t really know what to expect last time and so opted for a ‘pink’ coloring to be added to my socket, quite frankly the color looks like a dolls arm. Since I’m really not worried about the cosmetic look of my prosthetic (I’m not looking for something that looks like a real arm) I plan to go for something that looks more sporty this time! This has the added benefit that the socket can be thinner and more streamlined and of cause lighter weight.

I’ll share some pictures with you once I get it, it’ll probably take a couple of weeks to get it made and fitted.

Kerry and I joined the Stumps ‘R Us crew for a tour of the San Francisco Giants baseball park that Dan Sorkin (the Stumps organizer) had arranged. We’re not big baseball fans per-se, but, it was a fine afternoon and seemed like fun to go look around the ball park.

I highly recommend anyone take a tour if you’re in the San Francisco area, the park is absolutely gorgeous and offers views of the city and bay you won’t see anywhere else…particularly up on the top-level. We had a great time walking around the park, both inside and out, learning a bit about the history of the Giants and baseball. You never know maybe I’ll go watch a game one of these days, although watching baseball appeals to me about as much as watching cricket back home…

On our last day in Fiji Kerry and I took the opportunity to go diving, something I’d been wanting to do and hadn’t had the chance since my accident last year. I’ve been diving probably 17-18 years now, after learning at Exeter University back in the UK and becoming an instructor shortly thereafter.

Now, I didn’t expect to have any particular issues diving, since you don’t really use your hands much underwater anyway, but, it did feel good to get back in the water again…and I’ve never dived in water quite so warm, it must have been 30 degrees Celsius!

As you can see from the photos I’m using rental kit. Since I lost my left hand I didn’t really need any modifications to the kit (if I’d lost my right hand I’d probably want to invert the regulator so it came over my left shoulder).  I wore my prosthetic liner on my arm, which is a silicone based liner, for protection and to help keep my stump warm (since I don’t have great circulation). Obviously I didn’t wear my prosthetic, not sure it would fare too well under water.

The dive was great, not the most spectacular per se, but just great to be in the water again. I really didn’t have any difficulties diving, I could easily control my buoyancy with my right hand and otherwise everything was just as normal. So don’t let not having an arm stop you from jumping in the water…diving is too much fun to miss out on.

I was talking with Julian, our friend here in New Zealand, where we’re staying this week, and he reminded me of a dive trip we did to Jamaica a few years back, where a group of us helped this guy who was a quadriplegic go diving in the sea (since most of us in the group were instructors)…if he had the determination to overcome his disability and go diving there’s certainly no excuses for the rest of us.