I got a message recently from a high school senior who’d visited my blog, he had a birth defect that affected one of his hands and had recently become more conscious about it in social settings. He asked if I had anything to share.

Well this got me thinking, really thinking, what was it I had learnt since losing my hand 3 or so years back that I might be able to share? For what it’s worth, here’s what I came up with.

First, right at the beginning my mindset was that whilst I might have a disability, I didn’t consider myself disabled. My disability wasn’t who I was, it wasn’t my ‘identity’ or how I saw myself. I decided to have fun with my disability, to challenge my disability and be playful about it with others.

Secondly, I refused to see myself as being any different. I knew that if I started to see myself differently then other’s would pick up on it and feel differently, even awkward, around me, which I would then pick up on, which would then re-inforce my own negative feelings and start a vicious cycle. If you see yourself differently from how you wish others to see you, don’t be surprised when you perceive that others see you thus. If you feel incomplete, or disabled, or disfigured or whichever way it is for you, then with that in your mind you’ll start to perceive that that’s how others are thinking of you, it’s all bullshit, but, that’s just the way the mind works.

Thirdly, I look odd, people will stare, it means nothing, it’s just a natural reaction. Hell, when I catch myself in the mirror I stare, my body lacks symmetry, the human mind is used to symmetrical bodies. The question is, what does it mean to you when you catch someone glancing your way? Whatever you think they are thinking, I can guarantee you are wrong, you have no way of knowing what the other person thinks, so I prefer to believe they find me so incredibly attractive that they can’ help but look my way. I just smile, be open to questions or just continue on my way. Forget the stories you tell yourself about what you think they are thinking, again it’s bullshit. Generally I’m oblivious to it, but occasionally I’ll catch someone and it makes me smile.

Here’s a great video on this very topic:

I hope that this might help someone in some small way, remember you get to decide the meaning you attach to an event in your life…why not make that meaning serve you rather than hinder you.

This past weekend I attended Tony Robbin’s UPW event in San Jose, 3 years ago this was my first Tony Robbins event…5 events later I’ve come full circle.

The nice thing this time around was I got to sit in the front row, one of the benefits of being a Platinum Partner and as a result I got pulled up on stage to help with a demo…quite an experience to be standing on stage in front of 3,200 people.

It was a fun event, although unlike 3 years back Tony was only there for days 1 & 3 and Joseph McClendon III filled in for day 2 and then came back for day 4 on health and vitality.

At the end of the first day I got a another chance to do the firewalk, Tony’s signature activity at UPW. Three years ago when I did this it was just 4 months after my accident and I was still recovering from my electrical burns.

This time around I knew I could do it and could focus more on the metaphor that it represents, making a break through. It was interesting that last time I got a small burn on my foot, this time around, whilst I felt the coals, I didn’t get any burns at all.

It’s was as impressive as ever to see 3,000+ people lining up to get in state and walk across the hot coals.

Last week I attended Tony Robbins’ Leadership Academy Bootcamp in San Diego. I’ve attended a number of Tony’s events since I first did UPW (read all about it here) in San Jose in 2006 (incidentally, he’s back in San Jose this month after a 3 year absence, if you’re interested in attending call Erica Nitti, 858-535-6367, tell her I sent you and she’ll look after you).

I’ve got a lot of value from Tony’s real world approach to human psychology, it’s helped me and I’ve been able to help others by practicing just some of what he teaches. Anyway, the Leadership event really bought the last 3 years of events home for me and has set me on a new path in life.

As is often the case with his events, they use a physical act as a metaphor for a psychological/emotional breakthrough, at UPW it was the firewalk, at Life Mastery it was climbing a telephone pole. At Leadership Bootcamp it was breaking a 1″ pine board, karate chop-style! There were about 300 people in the room and after a 30 minute rundown by Joe Williams on how to get in state, stand, position our arms and strike we all queued up ready to do it.

Apparently this usually takes someone doing martial arts 6 months to progress to, here we were ready in less than an hour. A great demonstration of the power of getting into state. As you can see in the before photo, there’s a look of total focus in my eyes…this was my second attempt. My first didn’t go so well, but it sure confirmed that it was a real piece of solid wood, up until then I think I still thought that it can’t really be a solid piece of wood (there’s a metaphor for life for you). So on my second attempt, hand smarting a bit from the first, I totally focused and went for it. As you can see from the second photo I broke through, strange thing was, the second time around I didn’t even feel the board, in fact I had to double-check since I figured I must have missed it, that’s how easy it was to breakthrough (another great metaphor for you).

All in all, the event was simply amazing, and those who know me know I don’t use that term lightly. Outside of the coaching and training, the speakers they had were first class. Robin Bennacasa is an adventure racer (World Champion honors in both the Eco-Challenge and Raid Gauloises) and spoke on the kind of leadership and team dynamics that you need to make it through a 7-10 day, non-stop adventure race of 400-600 miles. Once I get through with my Ironman ambitions maybe adventure racing will be next, not sure if they’ve ever had a physically challenged team or not, maybe it’s time. Jan Hargrave was a blast, she’s a FBI specialist and expert in non-verbal communication (body language) and took us through a riot as she tested and explained how the body doesn’t lie. Want to know if someone is attracted to you, she knows. Steve Linder spent half a day with us on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), he’s somewhat of an expert on how patterns of mental and emotional behavior affect us. Shore Slocum bought an interesting and more contemplative perspective on leadership and life, a great story-teller and compelling speaker. Joe Williams, one of Tony’s master trainers (with an incredible assist from Joseph McClendon), ran the show and did a marvelous job through the 5 days, 12 hours plus a day.

If you ever get the chance to attend a Tony Robbins event, take it: have fun, play full-out and you won’t regret it.

Many Thanks to Pete Parker for taking the photos of the event, they are © Copyright 2009 Peter S. Parker, All Rights Reserved, Used with Permission. If you want to see more photos of the event, click here.

I just got my new Kindle 2 from Amazon, what a great device for one-handed folks (although I’m sure that wasn’t their primary design goal).

I’ve found that when I’m reading a book I have to hold it open with my one hand, which depending on the size and weight of the book can get tiring after a while. Also, I then don’t have a spare hand to turn the page and sometimes the book just doesn’t want to stay open. If I’m laying in bed reading it’s a little hard to hold a book open when I’m on my side reading, especially if it’s a hardback.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like this is a major obstacle in life, but it’s always a delight when something comes along like solves these minor irritants and currently I’m being delighted by my Kindle 2.

The Kindle is easy to hold in one hand, or lay flat on the bed, or rest on one’s knees and the e-Ink reflective screen really looks like the printed page, quite amazing and a pleasure to read even at an angle, just like a real book. I don’t have to try to keep it open or put it down to flip pages, I can even hold it with my i-Limb hand!

But wait, there’s more…I can buy and download books on the fly, have all my books immediately to hand anywhere I go and all in a device that’s slim, trim and looks like a super-sized iPhone.

Thank you Amazon!